So I suppose this will serve a sequel to my former blog "132 Days of Magic,' which chronicled the events of my life during the craziest four to five months of my life last year. I experienced so much and went on such a fantastic journey of self. At the end of the last blog, I arranged a hopeful epilogue that may have foreshadowed a happily ever after type situation. This was not the case.
Over the last, post-Disney year, I started, seemingly, progressing in my life. I got a desk job at a travel agency, I resumed classes, and moved out of my parent's house and got a phenomenal three bedroom apartment with my best friend. However, I suppose I really am more American than I believed myself to be. Because after a while, all these things meant absolutely nothing to me. They actually seemed to work against me. I was always wanting more, after I got what I sought after. Here I was working at a job that I could make good money in, but I was working with a group of people that were no where near my age. Also, I was attending the college where everyone runs out of class and heads home, and most of my classmates were also middle aged or older. And as nice as Grandma Rose was I sat next to in Speech, I do not want to go to go clubbin with her... And the freedom of living on my own didn't always feel as freeing as I thought it might (not to mention it began affecting the friendship with my roommate). So now I was feeling more unfulfilled than ever.
Meanwhile, my brother is getting engaged and consequently married, several of my friends are getting pregnant and having their beautiful children, my other brother and cousin graduating...ect. And amist these changes in the lives of my family and friends, I realized how truly still I was standing. I felt as if nothing was happening to me. Essentially, I was bored with life.
But it wasn't until one day, I can distinctly remember leaving one of my classes, after catatonically staring my desk in the class for the whole hour, I was driving to work (the travel agency). And I just started crying. Literally falling apart inside my car the entire drive there because I couldn't stand the idea of being chained to that desk for eight hours; couldn't stand the mere thought of going through the motions day after day doing nothing. Monotonously muddling through my younger years. That's the moment in which I knew something had to change.
One thing led to another and I found myself back here. In a magical world where real life seams to not exist; where it is completely acceptable to walk the tight rope between fantasy and reality. Yesterday, the day before my arrival date, I arrived in this warm (as opposed the blistering heat that Oklahoma has recently been at the mercy of), beautiful state and I stay the night with one of my favorite people Katey (you may remember my mormon sunshine from the previous blog). She had to work in the evening but I was far too juiced to sit around her house. I headed to Downtown Disney (DTD).
Memories rush back as I meander through the shops, and of course when I take a single bite into that lushious free Ghiradelli caramel square (words cannot express how excited I am to have so much chocolate in so many forms immediately available to me)! I look around at the people around me as I walk around. I had forgotten how happy people can be, everyone wears a smile, whether simply posing for a picture, telling a casual joke, or just walking around looking around. They are so happy. I take a seat on the edge of the lake at DTD looking around at Mickey everywhere and all of these people. I'm not sure if it was just their energy radiating through me or what, but I couldn't remember feeling that happy in a long while. It felt so good: the warm breeze, the Circle of Life playing in the background, and the feeling of a fresh start.
I found somewhere I can be happy. Sure, perhaps it's fleeting but it's real. And maybe here, I can have a second chance at learning how to make it last.
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